Saturday, November 15, 2008

Portfolio - 1

There is a certain amount of damage I do to my writing by trying to maintain a blog of poetry. By posting over 40 poems I have taken away from what I could strive to have 'published'. Not that I am saying that many of those pieces are ready, but there are few that I believe have potential.

The question I need to ask myself is should I stop posting when I love doing so? I want to not just call myself a poet, I also want to know that it is not just a dream I once had many years ago that I never grew out of. I know that my poetry has grown; but it is not hard to move on from the darkness and anger of ones teens, it is called growing up.

This post is not - this is how you create a body of work to submit for publication. The post is trying to figure out where to go from here. Where do I separate what I post from that which I put aside to try and have published?

Where to from here? I have grown fond of my blog of poetry and I do not intend to stop. I just have to find time to write more. Then I need to resist trying to share with all of my friends in such an open forum.

Though truthfully only 2 of my friends have felt comfortable pulling my poetry a part, at least in this forum. The thought of telling me how to change my poetry scares most people. So I am lucky that I have 2 people in my life that have found ways to teach me things, while not losing sight of the core of what I write. Thank you to them. I will prod both and point out I posted my thanks so they know that it is them that I am talking about. I have other people in my life that have the ability to guide my writing, they just have not done so via my blog.

If anyone stumbles upon this seemingly hidden blog and knows the answer to the question: how does one maintain a blog of poetry while at the same time grows a portfolio of work that has the potential to be published? - Can you let me know.

Finding inspiration

All around us there is beauty. The trick is to both stop and take it all in while also capturing what you are witnessing. I am starting to finally realise that writing, even with very few words, is how I express the quietness from within. I like to watch the world and I need a way to speak up.

Another reality I face is that my job requires a lot of creative thinking. Where I am often mapping out plans for what needs to happen now and years into the future and I love the challenge and freedom I have been given. Yet because my job requires so much creative thinking I arrive home at the end of the day and do not want to think anything of great depth. So I waste hours doing nothing, letting myself escape from the world.

How do I find time to write? I have learnt that during the day to allow myself treats. When a line, an impression, or something else comes to my mind like a dripping tap: I need to stop and listen. It does not take a perfect moment, simply a moment in order to capture and let it wash over me. This means the tapping stops while not letting the moment be lost.

I have also tried to find tools that allow me to capture those thoughts. I have scattered Word documents that I may never open again and I also scribble notes on paper. In the last few months I have grown to love the small white board at my desk as it allows me to place tiny pieces into a corner of the world. In small ways Twitter has allowed me to peck at thoughts - to bounce between the ideas of creating systems for work and bewilderment at so much that happens in life.

I do not neglect my work to write, however I do find time to treat myself and allow myself to write ideas down. I am most importantly honest with my colleagues that some times I get captured by my writing, even while I am at work.

Treat your self and do not feel guilty for who you are :-).